Spot the Difference
A Guide to Staying Present After Trauma
When we’ve experienced trauma, our brains can sometimes treat reminders of the past as if the danger is happening again. This is part of our survival system, it’s not a flaw. But it can also lead to anxiety, avoidance, and feeling disconnected from life.
One practical tool we can use is as part of recovery is “Spot the Difference.” Just like the picture puzzle game, it’s about noticing what’s different now, in our surroundings, in our bodies, and in our choices, so we can respond to the present moment rather than continuing to react to the past.
Why Our Brains See Danger First
Our brains evolved to spot patterns quickly, especially those linked to danger. If we see a coiled rope and mistake it for a snake, we might jump away before checking. That instinct can save our life.
However, after trauma, this “better safe than sorry” system can become overactive. A sound, smell, or facial expression may feel threatening, even if it’s no longer a sign of danger in present day. Over time, these signals can cause us to avoid situations, people, or places, sometimes cutting us off from things that might actually be safe, supportive, or enjoyable.
The “Spot the Difference” Approach
The “Spot the Difference” strategy helps us slow down and check: Is this the same satiation or danger from my past, or just something that looks or feels similar?
This approach isn’t about denying what has happened or minimising how serious our past experiences have been. It’s about refocusing our attention in the present, noticing what has changed, and making decisions from a place of choice, not our past fears.
Step 1: Notice the Trigger
Ask: “What’s reminding me of the past right now?”
Examples: a smell, a tone of voice, a place, or a physical sensation.
Step 2: Spot the Similarities
Recognise what your brain is matching to an old memory. This validates your body’s protective instincts.
Step 3: Spot the Differences
Ask: “What’s different about me, this place, these circumstances, or these people?”
Examples:
“It’s daytime now, not night.”
“I’m here with someone I trust.”
“I can leave if I need to.”
Step 4: Check the Facts
Ask: “Is this actually dangerous, or just familiar?”
This step engages the part of the brain that helps us think clearly (prefrontal cortex) and supports our ability to regulate our emotions.
Step 5: Choose With Awareness
Ask: “What would I do if I knew I was safe enough right now?”
This can lead to more flexible and values-based choices.
Why It Works
Research shows that perceptual discrimination training, learning to tell the difference between danger cues and safe cues, can reduce avoidance and anxiety. Similarly, safety signal learning can help our brains link certain cues with safety instead of danger.
This is different from exposure therapy, it’s not about forcing yourself into unsafe situations. It’s about retraining your brain and body to recognise what’s safe now.
Practical Ways to Use “Spot the Difference”
Before visiting a place that triggers memories: Identify three things that are different now.
When anxiety rises: Name out loud one change in the environment, one change in yourself, and one choice you have now.
After a flashback: Look around and list five things that are different from the past memory.
Key Takeaways
This technique is not about erasing the past, it’s about contextualising it safely.
It can be especially useful for people recovering from trauma, or those with heightened sensory or emotional responses (including neurodivergent individuals).
With practice, spotting the difference can help reduce unnecessary avoidance and increase participation in meaningful activities.
Caution
If you find that there aren’t many differences, or that the situation feels the same as before, it may mean there is still a real risk.
This tool is about evaluating safety, not pushing yourself to stay when things haven’t changed.
