Personal Therapy: Creating An Approach That Fits You
When people first think about starting therapy, a common question often lingers quietly: Will this work for me? Maybe you’ve tried therapy before, and it felt too rigid. Maybe you worried you weren’t “doing it right,” or perhaps the whole process felt like wearing someone else’s jumper, technically functional, but itchy, awkward, and not you. Therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Every person brings a unique nervous system, learning style, background, identity, and set of hopes to the room. Personalised therapy isn’t a marketing phrase, it’s essential to effective, ethical, evidence-informed care.
Why “One Size Fits All” Doesn’t Work in Mental Health
Think of the last time you tried on a jumper labelled “one size fits all.” It probably looked… okay, but when you walked around, adjusted the sleeves, maybe tugged at the collar, did it feel comfortable? For most of us, “one size” really fits… no one, therapy is the same. What soothes one-person, soft lighting, grounding exercises, deep breathing, may be overstimulating for someone else. What helps one person emotionally regulate (structured worksheets, behavioural experiments) might make another person freeze or panic. People vary in:
temperament
trauma history
sensory experience
cultural background
neurotype
attachment patterns
coping styles
readiness for change
So therapy needs to vary too. Modern research supports this growing movement toward precision mental health, strategies that are tailored to individual needs, preferences, and responses. Australian practice guidelines also emphasise culturally safe, trauma-informed, client-centred care. Personalisation is not a luxury, it’s best practice.
Starting Where You Are, Not Where You “Should” Be
“Meeting you where you are” is more than a slogan, it means that any approach begins with your current reality, your readiness for change, your history, your capacity, and your needs right now.
Some people arrive ready to dive into deep work. Others need to start by building safety, trust, and stability first, both are valid. A personalised approach respects your nervous system’s window of tolerance, the sweet spot where you can explore challenges without feeling overwhelmed or shut down. If something feels too much, we need to pause, and if something’s not helping, we need to adapt. The right therapy should move at your pace, not the therapist’s.
You Are the Expert of Your Own Life
Professional training and evidence-based models are useful, but your lived experience is the real compass. You know what helps, what overwhelms you, and what feels like it actually fits, your support system should reflect your needs rather than forcing you into a preset plan. For some people that’s self-help books, podcasts, or online courses. Others feel supported through e-mental health services, community groups, or talking with trusted friends. Some prefer in-person therapy, while others like the flexibility of telehealth.
Think of it as building your own toolkit, you pick the tools that feel right, test them out, keep what works, and swap out what doesn’t. The goal isn’t to follow a single path. It’s to create a path that actually feels like yours.
Evidence-Based Therapies, As Tools, Not Rules
Depending on what you are looking for, therapy can incorporate one or more evidence-based approaches:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), exploring thoughts, emotions, and helpful behavioural changes.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), building emotion-regulation, distress-tolerance, and relationship skills.
Schema Therapy, understanding deeper life-long relational or emotional patterns rooted in early experiences.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), processing traumatic memories at your pace while ensuring safety and stabilisation.
Attachment-informed or “parts work” approaches, helping you connect with different parts of yourself, understand internal conflicts, and build self-compassion.
These are tools, not instructions, which tools you use, and when, depends on your goals, preferences and readiness. You may also want to adjusting as you grow. Progress isn’t always linear. What feels right in week four may not be what you need in week ten. Flexibility is part of ethical, evidence-based practice.
Small Steps You Can Take Before Your First Session
You don’t need to wait for therapy to start building habits that support your wellbeing. Here are a few accessible ideas:
· Reflect on what helps, not what “should” help: Maybe journalling isn’t your thing, but pacing the backyard or listening to music works wonders.
Build a “nervous system first-aid kit”: Noise-cancelling headphones, soft clothes, mint lollies, warm drink, a safe space.
· Micro-pauses: Before stressful tasks, take three slow breaths or unclench your jaw.
Practice gentle self-talk: Talk to yourself like you would a kind friend.
· Value-mapping: Ask yourself: What matters most today? Not what you should do, what aligns with who you want to be.
Get curious about your inner parts: If you have an inner critic, an inner protector, or a worried part of yourself. Don’t judge, just try to notice and observe what thoughts come up.
These small steps are not homework, they’re just invitations to get curious about yourself, your needs, and what brings you comfort.
What the Research Says
Research into personalised or feedback-informed therapy consistently shows stronger engagement and outcomes when care is adapted to each individual’s needs, interests and feedback. Australian psychological standards align with this evidence, emphasising collaboration, cultural responsiveness, and client-centred practice. In short: therapy works best when it’s flexible, evidence-informed, and personalised.
What Therapy Might Look Like, Real Examples
Here are a few possible ways therapy could adapt to your needs:
If you’re neurodivergent (e.g. autistic or ADHD): perhaps using visual tools, written session summaries, structured plans, sensory-friendly lighting, or stimming-breaks when needed.
If you have trauma: starting with stabilisation and emotion-regulation tools before approaching memory work, always respecting consent, pace, and safety.
If you’re burnt out, overwhelmed, or stuck: focusing on energy-management, boundary setting, self-compassion, and small, achievable goals rather than diving into heavy insight work.
If identity, culture or values matter deeply to you: exploring these aspects, and adapting strategies in safe, affirming ways.
What You Might Notice Over Time
If therapy is tailored and collaborative, progress often looks like subtle shifts, not dramatic overnight changes. Common signs people notice include:
Feeling more grounded or less overwhelmed
Recognising emotions earlier, feeling less reactive
Sleeping or resting more easily
Clearer boundaries and healthier relationships
Gentler self-talk or and less judgement
Stronger sense of identity, values, and direction
Healing isn’t a race, it’s more like a garden gradually taking root, steady, gentle, and evolving.
Ethics, Safety and Transparency
Individualised therapy always stays within ethical and professional boundaries:
No promises or guarantees of outcome, healing takes time.
Respect for your freedom, culture, and privacy.
Clear communication about the models and methods we use.
Evidence-based, trauma-informed practice guided by AHPRA and APS standards.
You Deserve Support That Fits
In a world that often asks you to mask, push through, or minimise your needs, having a space that honours your uniqueness is a powerful form of self-care. Personalised therapy doesn’t ask you to become someone else, it supports you in becoming more you, with compassion, clarity, and steadiness. If you’re thinking about starting therapy, or returning after a gap, remember there is no set path or destination. You just need to show up as you are and find someone you trust to walk with you.
