Unbalanced relationships often arise when one partner continuously gives without receiving, usually due to fears of vulnerability, past abandonment, or feelings of unworthiness. According to relationship expert Esther Perel, those who feel unworthy of love may replace being loved with being needed, which can lead to a power imbalance that limits true connection. Embracing vulnerability and fostering a healthy balance of giving and receiving allows for deeper emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Traumatic invalidation is the repeated dismissal of a person’s feelings, behaviours, or experiences, which can deeply damage self-worth and mental health. This pattern of invalidation—through criticism, emotional neglect, exclusion, or control—leads to self-doubt, perfectionism, insecurity, and shame. Over time, it creates pervasive negative beliefs, like feeling inherently flawed or unworthy, and can lead to self-isolation and difficulty trusting oneself and others.

Love is a deep, stable connection based on mutual respect, trust, and emotional stability, while limerence is a more intense, infatuated state marked by idealisation, emotional dependency, and intrusive thoughts. Limerence often feels like an emotional rollercoaster, with dramatic highs and lows driven by the other person’s responses, which is distinct from the calm security found in love. Recognising the difference can help in building healthy, balanced relationships and making more intentional choices in romance.

Managing neurodivergence involves using tailored strategies, such as breaking tasks into smaller steps, time management, and minimising distractions, which can help alleviate overwhelm. Techniques like prioritising tasks, using visual anchors, and setting up reward systems can boost focus and motivation, while lifestyle adjustments and support systems provide a solid foundation for sustained well-being. Regular self-compassion and breaks are also essential for maintaining balance and managing stress effectively.

Trauma can lead to complex and often contradictory responses, known as the “dialectical reaction to trauma,” where survivors may simultaneously want to avoid and confront reminders of their experience. This reaction can be seen emotionally, behaviourally, and interpersonally, with individuals moving between extremes, like feeling emotionally numb or overwhelmed, exhibiting reckless or hypervigilant behaviours, and seeking connection while also pushing people away. These conflicting responses are natural parts of trauma processing and reflect the depth of its impact on our emotions, behaviours, and relationships.

When feeling overwhelmed, it’s common to focus on escaping problems rather than pursuing positive goals, which can make progress seem unclear. Setting clear, actionable goals in therapy, like SMART goals, helps us to create a roadmap to track our progress and recognise our achievements. By measuring changes in our emotions, thoughts, behaviours, and relationships, therapy becomes a purposeful journey toward a healthier and more satisfying life, especially when paired with someone who is a good fit for us and our goals.

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where one person uses misinformation, blame-shifting, and isolation to control another, often eroding their self-esteem and sense of reality. Common characteristics include twisting facts to create confusion, minimising the victim’s feelings, and isolating them from support networks. Gaslighting can lead to anxiety, depression, and a weakened sense of self, but awareness and support from trusted people can aid in recovery.

Schema Therapy is a therapeutic approach that targets long-standing negative beliefs, or "schemas," often rooted in our past or childhood, which influence present thoughts, feelings, and relationships. By identifying and challenging these maladaptive patterns, Schema Therapy empowers us to develop healthier responses and build more fulfilling connections. This therapy is particularly beneficial for those struggling with self-esteem issues, relationship difficulties, trauma, and personality disorders, as it addresses the root causes of emotional distress, promoting deep, lasting change.

CBT is an evidence-based approach that helps us identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviours by addressing the interconnectedness of thoughts, feelings, and actions. It focuses on recognising uncontrollable triggers, managing physical reactions to stress, challenging unhelpful thoughts, and by borrowing techniques from DBT we can understanding complex emotions and nuance. CBT empowers us by providing practical tools to help manage our symptoms and work to improve mental well-being over the long term.